Tim Gunn: I Tried to Kill Myself as a Gay Teen
0Project Runway's Tim Gunn has recorded a message for the Trevor Project's "It Gets Better" video series to create a public service video talking directly to GLBT youth who might be contemplating suicide.
The video project includes public service announcements from GLBT and straight celebrities such as columnist Dan Savage, actors Chris Colfer and Ian Somerhalder, blogger Perez Hilton, and others. The videos aim to counter GLBT youth suicides, such as the rash of bullied gay teens who have taken their own lives in recent weeks.
"I have a very important message for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth," Gunn says in the 2-minutes-and-12-second long video, "and that is: it gets better. It really does."
Gunn goes on to say that he understands "the desperation" of gay youths from first-hand experience. "As a 17-year-old youth who was in quite a bit of despair, I attempted to kill myself," Gunn says in the video message. "And I'm very happy today that that attempt was unsuccessful, but at the time it's all that I could contemplate."
Gunn reveals that he attempted suicide four decades ago by taking "more than one hundred pills." When he woke up to find that he was still alive, Gunn said, he was plunged into despair anew. "I thought, 'I shouldn't be here--this isn't what was meant to be!' I frankly just wanted to start life all over again."
Gunn encourages viewers to seek out help from family and friends--or the Trevor Project. "I am a huge fan of The Trevor Project," Gunn says of the suicide-prevention hotline. "Your identity will be protected. You don't have to worry about getting your parents involved, if you're so inclined," Gunn says.
A moment later, Gunn momentarily chokes up, and declares himself to be "very emotional." The video immediately drew viewers; an Oct. 7 Associated Press story said that more than 70,000 people had seen the message by the evening of Oct. 6.
Gunn has spoken before about being a gay youth and attempting suicide. His recently published memoir Golden Rules explores the topic, and he spoke to People Magazine in a Sept. 12 article about the suicide attempt.
"I was at yet another boarding school--I must have cycled through a dozen," Gunn told the magazine. "I had no friends. I was depressed. I wanted to end it all. In my dorm room at Milford Academy I took too many pills, then lay down with a sense of peaceful resignation. Much to my frustration, I woke up the next morning. Now, of course, I'm glad it didn't work. When I got beyond my stutter at 19, my world opened up."
Gunn also told the magazine that the word "gay" was not "even in our vocabulary" in his parents' home, but that he thought they knew he was gay, "and that's part of why they sent me to shrinks constantly."
In the 40 years since his attempt to kill himself, Gunn, 57, has flourished in the world of design, having served for 25 years as a faculty member at Parsons The New School for Design before becoming chief creative officer for Liz Claiborne. Gunn also appeared on the reality program Project Runway, and stars in his own television show, Tim Gunn's Guide to Style.