Couple’s Tragic Story illustrates Need for Protections for GLBT Families
The heartbreaking story of a same-sex couple denied contact during one partner's last hours illustrates the need for basic rights and protections for gay and lesbian families, if not for full-fledged marriage equality.
As detailed in a Feb. 6 article at the Miami Herald, a dying woman's life partner of 17 years, and the three children the two had adopted, were prevented from being at her side for hours.
The family, who lived in Washington state, were about to embark on a cruise from Miami when Lisa Marie Pond collapsed, either from a heart attack or because of an aneurysm (media accounts vary). After eight hours of enforced separation, the article said, Janice Langbehn finally was permitted to join her stricken partner, even as Pond received final rites.
Up to that point, the hospital refused to allow Langbehn to be in the room with Pond due to a policy that bars any but what the hospital considers to be "immediate family," such as blood relatives or married spouses--but not life partners of the same gender, who are not allowed to marry under state law.
Moreover, Langbehn said that a social worker at the hospital told her that she and her children had traveled to "an antigay state," where her relationship with Pond was not going to be accorded any weight.
The Langbehn-Pond Family Web site includes an article on the incident that was published by Washington newspaper The Olympian. The article includes a rebuttal from the hospital's Vice President of of public relations, Robert Alonso, who said, "We have a very liberal visitation policy.
"As soon as it's humanly possible and appropriate to bring in visitors, we do."
Langbehn, however, said that the hospital seemed unconcerned with her wishes or her legal power of attorney to act on behalf of Pond until hospital staff learned about Pond's wish to donate her organs.
At that point, "They finally started talking to me," Langbehn was quoted as saying in The Olympian article.
That day was two years ago, the Miami Herald article said. Now, Langbehn and her lawyer are seeking a legal solution.
Langbehn has filed a suit in federal court, saying that being kept apart from Pond was negligence on the part of the hospital, and that the enforced separation as Pond lay dying inflicted emotional distress, the Miami Herald reported.
Langbehn was kept from Pond, despite providing documentation that showed that Langbehn had been legally entrusted with medical decisions by Pond. The Miami Herald article also said that doctors did not consult with Langbehn, despite her legal power of attorney theoretically giving her a say in medial decisions regarding her partner of 17 years.
An account of the situation as told by Langbehn is available at the Family Equality Council Web site, and reads in part, "More than one tragedy occurred that February day in Miami: I lost my partner, my love, my life, our kids lost their 'other' mom and what makes all these tragedies more horrible is how I was treated by the Social Worker and receptionist at that hospital in Miami by telling me I couldn't see Lisa nor make important decisions about her care."
Langbehn's account continues, "...I paced and watched other families being brought back into the trauma center, yet my family waited, with no word about Lisa's condition.
"Our children Danielle, David, Katie and I all lost the ability to be with Lisa in her last moments of consciousness, to hold her hand and to say goodbye and that is something that can never be given back to our family."
The Miami Herald reported that awyers for the hospital moved for dismissal, saying that the staff at the hospital are not required to let anyone visit a patient.
A lawyer for the hospital, Andrew Boese, argued, "There's just not enough there to say that these doctors intentionally tried to cause distress" to Langbehn.
But Langbehn's lawyer, Donald Hayden, was quoted as saying, "This is not just about same-sex couples.
"This is about protecting the legal access that a parent has to see a child, or an essential loved ones right to be aware of what is going on with their loved one.''
Lambda Legal attorney Beth Littrell was quoted as saying, "We are here to ensure that families get the respect they deserve at Jackson Memorial Hospital and to prevent Janice's tragedy from happening to anyone else."
Added Littrell, "This family deserves to have its day in court."
A summary of the case at the Lambda Legal Web site says, "From the moment Langbehn and the children arrived at Jackson Memorial Hospital, they encountered prejudice and apathy.
"The hospital refused to accept information from Langbehn regarding Pond's medical history, informing her that she was in an antigay city and state and that she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family."
Continues the text at the site, "A doctor finally spoke with Langbehn, telling her that there was no chance of recovery.
"Despite the doctor's acknowledgment that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither Langbehn nor her children were allowed to see Pond until nearly eight hours after their arrival."
The summary goes on, "Soon after Pond's death, Langbehn attempted to obtain her death certificate in order to get life insurance and Social Security benefits for her children."
The Miami Herald article said that the women and their children were embarking on a cruise from Miami two years ago when Pond suffered a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
The Miami Herald said that Langbehn told the paper two years ago that, "Any family should have the right to hold their loved one's hand in the last moments of life, and we were denied that."
Both sides presented their arguments at a Feb. 6 hearing. The judge in the case, Judge Adalberto Jordan, will now determine whether the case will go to trial.
The suit reflects a worst-case scenario that couples who are denied marriage can only hope they never have to face: having no legal recourse at times of crisis.
In Florida, where voters passed a constitutional amendment last November barring gay and lesbian families from ever enjoying marriage equality, as in the other 29 states where such amendments are part of the fabric of bedrock law, the argument justifying the denial of marriage rights is that heterosexual marriage must be "protected" by ensuring that gay and lesbian families are not recognized with the full palette of over 1,000 rights and protections that heterosexuals are granted with a single stroke when they say their vows and are pronounced married.
Even in the two states where marriage is currently an option for gay and lesbian families, federal-level rights and protections are denied gay and lesbian families under the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, a 1996 federal law the defines marriage as legal only between one man and one woman, and which permits states to ignore legal unions granted in other jurisdictions to gays and lesbians.
The legal situation is trickier still for gay and lesbian families with children: even married same-sex couples must worry about travel with their children to states that refuse to recognize their marriages, prompting same-sex parents to tote sheaves of documents with them during excursions across state lines on family vacations and other occasions for travel.
Even such documentation is not always a guarantee that a family's relationship will be recognized and honored by local authorities, however.