Randy Rainbow Sets Out the Steps to the Social Distance Dance
In his latest musical opus, politically astute comedy parodist Randy Rainbow put Vice President Mike Pence through his paces to the tune of "I Can Go the Distance," a song from the musical animated Disney film "Hercules."
"Mike, give us your assessment of where we are right now with the coronavirus," Rainbow said, "which Donald Trump has recently started calling the 'Hillary flu' or, in medical terminology, 'obamatitis nancius pelosus' — or, 'covfefe-19.' "
Pence, appearing via pre-existing interview footage Rainbow repurposed in his signature style so as to generate the appearance of a live one-on-one interview, responded with a list of expert-approved measures that ordinary people can take to protect themselves, such as avoiding large social gatherings and sticking close to home as much as possible.
"I'm sorry," Rainbow interrupted. "You want us to stay home? Oh, I wish that I could help you, sweetie, but my schedule is crazy right now..."
As Pence resumed with a boilerplate statement, Rainbow launched into song. I have always led such an active life. I'm a social butterfly — and kind of a whore."
"But this covid spread," Rainbow added, referring to the coronavirus by its newly-assigned clinical name, COVID-19, "now is running rife and my country needs me, so I won't be anymore."
Rainbow's lyrics referenced recent developments around the strongly recommended precaution of "social distancing," in which people avoid crowds, decline to shake hands, and work from home. In some areas in Europe, governments have closed borders to contain the virus and implemented social distancing measures that include ticketing people who leave their homes for reasons other than those deemed necessary, such as shopping for food. In Italy, those measures extend to the food shopping experience itself, with shoppers admitted to stores a few at a time to minimize crowding, instructed to wear gloves to handle items, and directed to remain at least one meter away from others.
In terms of sexual conduct, Americans have heard recently that Chinese researchers have identified a possibility of transmission of COVID-19 through trace amounts of feces, especially through oral contact such as rimming, prompting advisories in the media that people of any orientation performing oral sex use dental dams.
As reported recently at EDGE, the New York City's Department of Health went so far as to encourage people to avoid sex with individuals who fall outside a "small circle of people," and note that it's a wise precaution to "wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex."
Rainbow summarized it in heroic terms: "Though I'll be a grouch, my community now relies on me. I will save the human race by lying on my couch."
Not unlike Donald Trump, who recently likened himself to a wartime president," Rainbow struck a martial note during the course of his tuneful takedown:
"Like my ancestors before me who were called to Vietnam, I'll sit home all day and Facetime with my mom."
Watch the new Randy Rainbow song parody video below.