Grandmothers Poised to Become N.Y.’s First Legally Married Same-Sex Couple
Buffalo residents Kitty Lambert and Cheryle Rudd plan to exchange wedding vows at Niagara Falls at literally the second after New York's marriage equality law takes effect.
Lambert, who is president of OUTspoken for Equality, spoke with EDGE earlier this week as she and Rudd prepared for their nuptials.
EDGE: As long-time marriage equality activists, how do you and Cheryle feel on the eve of your wedding?
LAMBERT: After eight years of fighting for this, it feels amazing to actually get to the day when all the hard work comes to fruition. We often think of all the trips to lobby, the rallies, the events and the dramas... but most of all the people. We are being given a lot of credit for this and while that is a tremendous honor and very humbling, it discounts the thousands of others in OUTspoken for Equality who worked as hard as they could to get this done.
EDGE: Where were you and Cheryle when the bill passed in Albany? How did you both react?
LAMBERT: Cher and I, along with the incoming president of OUTspoken, Terry Purdue, were guests at the Time Warner YNN studio [in Albany] and watched it live. What a roller coaster of emotion!!! Cher is not a person who cries. I, on the other hand, am, but watching history unfold before us and knowing we had a part in creating this change... both of us were in tears. When it actually passed we jumped up and cheered. Then I turned to Cher and said, "I have asked you before, and I will ask you again, will you marry me and love me for the rest of our forever?" Even after all the years of struggle she said yes!
EDGE: How did you meet?
LAMBERT: We were working at the same place but didn't speak other than to say hello. We were in relationships with two very jealous women who were having an affair with each other! I caught my partner with Cher's (by this time Cher had already left her) and I ended my relationship with my partner. Cher and I went out for a drink to "ex-bash" and realized that we had found our soul mate. It wasn't a rebound situation, which we both were concerned about. It was just that we had so much in common!
EDGE: Describe the personal journey that has brought you and Cheryle to this day?
LAMBERT: We are not special. We are just two chubby old grandmas who believed that we could influence a change in the laws of our government. We don't have a political science degree. We don't have any money. We weren't well connected (in fact, we didn't know anyone here.) We just believed. We were passionate and determined. We developed thick skins and took the higher road. We didn't take no for an answer. We refused to go away. That is all this takes. Anyone out there can do this. Call me at (716) 578-3782. I will help you get started, but just wait until Tuesday... I am getting married this weekend!
All change starts at home, all politics is local. Bloom where you are planted... and if you are not having fun then you are not doing it right!
EDGE: What would you say to those legislators who voted against the marriage equality bill?
LAMBERT: For American Values: Abraham Lincoln; Susan B. Anthony; John F. Kennedy, Harvey Milk; Martin Luther King, Jr.; Tim Kennedy and Mark Grisanti. Against American Values: Joseph McCarthy; Adolf Hitler; Maggie Gallagher; Saddam Hussein; Arnold Schwarzenegger; George Maziarz and Patrick Gallavan. 'Nuff said.
EDGE: What would you say to those who continue to oppose marriage equality-and your right to get married at Niagara Falls?
LAMBERT: I think Queen said it best. "We are the champions, no time for losers for we are the champions of the world."
Humor aside; I wish they would feed a starving baby, house a homeless youth, nurse a lonely 90-year-old who has out-lived everyone they knew or help an addict to get to a meeting and get through the next 24 hours. They need to volunteer a year of their time with meals on wheels, a year of weekends to habitat for humanity, help plant a serenity garden in a seemingly hopeless neighborhood, be part of a riverbank sweep, provide pencils/paper/crayons/tape/glue/glitter and a myriad of other art supplies to schools that can't fund a creative arts program. They need to help someone get their GED, serve turkey dinners to the homeless at a shelter, gather personal hygiene supplies for battered women and their children who are escaping violent situations. They need to hold a bake sale to help a student to get a musical instrument they could never afford even though they have a profound talent, adopt just one of the 748,000 children in foster care in this country and love them because they are amazing gifts, and then help others to adopt too and then pass legislation that makes it financially feasible for children to have someone they will call mommy and or daddy for the rest of their lives, someone who can teach them values, like loving their neighbor and playing nice, someone who will keep them safe.
If you give them just one dime of your money to promote targeting anyone-anyone-with hate, that says a lot about you and what type of Christian you are not.
EDGE: What does marriage equality in New York mean for other states that are considering nuptials for same-sex couples-or for those states that are looking to further restrict marriage for gays and lesbians?
LAMBERT: This is a beginning of great movement in this country. Americans are becoming educated about what this issue is really about. The hype that their churches will be forced to do anything is falling away to the reality that there have always been federal protections for churches under the Constitution. Mormons don't have to marry anyone, even members of their faith if they do not want to... they continued to deny blacks the right to marry in the temple long after the civil rights laws were passed. Catholics do not have to marry anyone they don't want to; never have, never will. Americans are beginning to question the motive$ of these organization$. And they $hould.
Stop the nonsense. This isn't about your religious values. This is about legal civil protections, something that no church can give or take away from an individual unless they become a moneychanger in the temple. There's a little hint for ya... just sayin'.
EDGE: What will life be like for you and Cheryle after July 24?
LAMBERT: Same as it has been for the last 11, full of love and family, except that now we don't have to worry about what will happen if...Cher and I wish everyone the love and joy they deserve, wrapped in protections that are long overdue.