Sick of the Virus? Randy Rainbow's Latest Parody Nails It
After his recent departure into pop music, political song parodist Randy Rainbow is back to the Great White Way with an up-to-the-minute riff on a "Guys and Dolls" song. Only, instead of "Adelaide's Lament," in which the musical's heroine frets about getting a cold thanks to her boyfriend stringing her along instead of marrying her, Rainbow's symptoms reflect a national malaise in which at least part of the electorate has long since grown weary of the president's endless commitment issues when it comes to truth, reason, and facts.
Zeroing in on Trump's jumbled and incoherent responses to the novel coronavirus - now also known as COVID-19 - Rainbow starts off his new segment wearing a gas mask, perhaps in reference to GOP lawmaker Matt Gaetz, a Florida congressman who drew national attention by donning a gas mask to show his contempt for a spending bill on which Congress voted on March 4. The bill provided funds to combat the outbreak, which Trump initially downplayed, dismissing concerns as a "hoax" intended to harm his presidency.
Gaetz ended up having to quarantine himself when it was revealed that while attending C-PAC, a conference of conservatives, he encountered a person infected with the disease. Critics also zeroed in on Gaetz when one of the congressman's constituents died of the illness.
Taking off the gas mask, Rainbow appears to interact with Wolf Blitzer, before then introducing Donal Trump.
Flanked by Vice President Mike Pence - whom Trump put in charge of the government's actions to address coronavirus, despite Pence's infamous mishandling of an HIV outbreak in his home state of Indiana during his governorship there - Trump, in repurposed news footage, appears to listen as Rainbow asks him about initially dismissing coronavirus concerns as a "Democratic hoax," and notes that the virus has caused "a major health crisis around the world" - no small feat for a mere hoax - and poses the query: "Do you regret that response?"
"That's just a continuation of the hoax," Trump seemingly responds. "Whether it's the impeachment hoax, or the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax, this is what I'm talking about."
Trump then seems to try to rush onward to another question, but Rainbow holds up a finger and songfully interjects: "But sir... The state of this bug is blurry. Everyone's hyper-tense - anxious, afraid, unsettled and upset."
Trump jumps in to thank Pence and others "for the job they're doing. We have a great team - "
"You tell us not to worry," Rainbow appears to interrupt. "Passing the ball to Pence?! Politicizing a global pandemic threat!"
"There's no reason to panic," Trump replies. "You'll probably... you'll be fine."
Rainbow, taken back, stares for a moment in speechless shock and then continues: "In other words: While you're worrying more for your own re-election bid, a person could develop COVID."
Trump nods.
Rainbow then moves on to address the economic crisis sparked by fears around the virus, noting that "the stock market's still on its way to hell. You can call it a hoax but it's hard to make jokes when there's no Purell!"
Indeed, stocks of the hand sanitizer - along with soap and other hygienic products - were wiped out in some places by shoppers panicked at the news of the quickly-escalating health crisis.
"While your goal is deflection from this new infection that you can't spell..."
An image of a Trump tweet appears in which the president accuses the media of stoking fears in a deliberate attempt to crash the market. The disease is spelled "Caronavirus" in the tweet.
"...a person could develop a cold," Rainbow finishes.
The video parallels developments in real life, with the Trump administration abruptly veering into reality and taking the threat of the virus seriously.
Pence takes center stage to say, "At the president's direction, this is an all-hands on deck effort."
Rainbow addresses the image of Pence as it freezes and then fades into black and white.
"A parasite such as this one," Rainbow seethes, "latches on to its host..."
The image of Pence is replaced by a black and white portrait of Trump.
"Typically getting thrown under the bus," Rainbow notes, just before Pence resumes his address, pausing to cough at one point as he does so.
"Acting like a physician," Rainbow goes on, "hoping to hold its post..." An abrupt change finds Rainbow pointing at a graphic depicting human anatomy and breaking into medical jargon to discuss "osculating the gluteus maximus..."
That's Latin for "kissing ass."
Rainbow goes on to rake Pence for "indulging [Trump's] ego trips" and warns that "a person can develop chapped lips" from such duties.
Rainbow continues his Pence riff, now recalling reports that the vice president had in the past promoted so-called "conversion therapy," a debunked quack practice that claims to "cure" gays and "turn" them straight through prayer and counseling.
"He can pray every day till the gay goes away - hey, it's worth a shot," Rainbow croons. "He can climate-deny till the oceans are dry and the Earth gets hot. But if praying that deadly diseases don't spread is the best he's got... bish, some persons could develop a cold."
Watch the entire video below.